Challenge ahead!

Today's run will be a challenge, I think.  Nevermind the fact that we're running 7 miles, and I haven't run since Wednesday (or done any physical activity...) -- it's snowing outside.  Enough to coat the sidewalks.  And I wonder how slick spots will become and hoping I don't fall.  It'll be, truly, my first time running in the snow where the snow is able to stick.  Lots to learn, I'm sure!

That time when your long run becomes your short run (and you kill it)

In my last blog post, I had expressed frustrations about running for about 5 weeks now and not seeing a change in my mile pace, all the while losing weight.  To top this off, yesterday I took my measurements after 2 weeks of not doing so, only to find that I did not lose any more body fat or gain any more muscle mass (though I did lose another 1.1lb) - which was disconcerting to me because I had a few healthy eating days in a row.

So that brings me to this evening.  Wednesdays are our "short/other" runs and tonight our leader had us run 4 miles.  4 miles was, at one point, our LONG run about 4 weeks ago (and we did the same route tonight).  And now we're doing it as a short run!  I was not happy, but I did it.  And as I ran, I noticed how much better I felt running it than I did 4 weeks ago.  How it was a struggle to run even a mile whereas tonight I was able to run 1.76 miles before stopping to walk for a bit.  I believe I went from an approximately 15 minute run before walking to over 22 minutes of running before walking.  And while I did a run/walk for the middle portion (there was a hill), most of the last 1.5 miles was a run.  And it was more of a RUN than a JOG!  And my legs were feeling great ... no pain, not even shin splints (yay!).

4 weeks ago I ran the 4 miles at a 13:46/mile pace.  My mileage times were: 12:39, 14:20, 14:11, 14:05.  Tonight I ran the 4 miles at a 12:59/mile pace.  My mileage times were: 12:14, 13:21, 13:29, 12:49.  SO MUCH BETTER!!!  So now I have a new standard to beat.  I know I can pace at just under 13 minutes/mile, I can run 1.76 miles without stopping to walk, and I can run for about 22 minutes without stopping to walk (I assume this may vary on elevation during the route).  But tonight's run will be in my head as the best run I've had in my 5 weeks of running.  I really felt like a runner tonight.

My food still needs a LOT of help.  I took a look at my inputs in my Weight Watchers app -- as I thought I had good weeks -- but in reading back my foods, I had some chocolate there, a cookie there, half a doughnut over there ... and definitely had a few bad meals.  I know my eating has become cleaner since starting the running group, but I need to be much better than I am today to continue to make progress.  My body is now falling into the groove of me running, so what will propel me more towards a healthy body fat percentage and weight will be my nutrition.

Overall, though, I am down 3.6lb over 4 or 5 weeks, though I've lost more pounds in body fat and gained muscle mass.  I believe my body fat is down 2% overall.  I've lost 1.5 inches in my waist as well.  Imagine what I could do and feel like if my nutrition was even better than it is today (which shouldn't be hard to do because there is a LOT of room for improvement).  It's an uphill battle, but I'm still climbing the mountain!

Hello, it's been a while.

The last post I wrote was on February 10, a bit over 2 weeks ago.  I'm not sure why I haven't written as I've been following the same regimen - I think I just "didn't feel like it" a lot of the time so I avoided the blog.  So let me try to recap the last couple of weeks and if any highlights come to me, I'll write them down.

OVERALL HEALTH
The last time I did an InBody was February 16 (I would have done it again this past Thursday but my trainer had a family emergency so I couldn't do one).  On the 16th I was down another 0.7% body fat percentage and up another 0.4lb muscle mass ... down 1.1lb overall to 194.4lb.  Since then I've maintained a similar regimen so I'd imagine I am still losing weight and gaining muscle, I just don't have the documentation.  I'm not sure I'm feeling any better than I was when I started a month ago...?

RUNNING
I've kept up with the running group meets, and I'll average about one more day of running on my own, normally a 2-mile route near my house.  So that brings me to 2 formal running days (1 long run and 1 short run), 1 running day on my own, 1 day of personal training - legs, and 1 day of personal training - arms.  Sometimes I feel guilty when I choose to rest for the other 1-2 days and I need to work on the guilt that I have during these days.  Even the best athletes take time off to let their bodies recuperate.

How have I been doing?
- 5 mile run on 2/11 ... average 13:07/mile
- 3 mile run on 2/15 ... average 15:16/mile **
- 2 mile run on 2/17 ... average 13:16/mile
- 6 mile run on 2/18 ... not sure of average because MapMyRun stopped working but, of the couple of miles I did believe, I ran somewhere between 12:30-14:00/mile
- 1.5 mile run on 2/20 ... average 14:02/mile (I remember stopping at least twice for a bit because of shin splints)
- 2.4 mile run on 2/22 ... average 13:05/mile (this was interval training night ... AMAZING ... I can see this technique really helping me with endurance)
- 1 mile run on 2/23 ... average 12:57/mile
- 5 mile run on 2/25 ... average 14:09//mile

** I remember this day.  Around 4:30pm all of my energy just left my body and there was no part of me that wanted to go to the running group at 6:15pm that night.  I shot a text to the leader and told her how I was feeling; she said to come anyway, and that you won't always feel the best every day you run.  So I came, and I ran the 3 miles, and while I was not proud of my times, I was proud that I did it.

While I'm keeping up with the running, what I'm not seeing is my running getting faster.  It seems to be pretty consistent in the 13-14 minute mile range.  I know I still have 2 months before the half marathon, but I thought I'd be seeing something different after a month of training.

EATING
I continue to track my food and I will say that all of my snacks are now fruits or vegetables; I've also consistently cut down on diet coke and allow myself to drink it once, or twice at the very most, each week.  During the week I still have eggs for breakfast, and for most of my lunches at work I grab a chicken caesar wrap that is advertised at 390 calories.  My dinners vary.

Weight watchers gives me a 30-point day with 42 flex points per week (and then whatever points I get for my fitness, I normally average a bit over 50 a week).  I'm taking a look at my "journey" (where any days where I log 27-37 points a day is considered a "healthy eating" day) and I hit it on February 13, and February 20-23.  All the other days I did NOT eat in this range, and some days I had 50-point days, there were even a couple 60-point days!  So this tells me that I still have PLENTY of opportunity to reel this in, and a LOT.  I do struggle more on the weekends to eat healthy, and it shows.  I am happy with the changes I've made so far, but they are clearly not enough. ::sigh::

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
That's it for now!  Hoping to not wait another 2 weeks for my next blog post.  This is meant to be my accountability measure so I must get better at that.

Quick recap of the week

Not really in the mood to blog so just posting times and quick thoughts about nutrition.

We did mile repeats on Wednesday.  Our leader started the hour saying she wanted all of us to warm up and do a jog together a few blocks in one direction and back, and then to push ourselves running the mile.  Well -- the group's "jog" is equivalent to my "run."  So I automatically felt discouraged.  And to add to that, it was starting to rain/snow/sleet so I was pretty wet and miserable.  Nevertheless, I persisted.  I'm not proud of my times (14:02, 13:49) but I am glad that, for each mile, I was able to complete it without stopping.  But I can be faster.

Today after work I did a 2-mile run in my neighborhood and was happier with those results -- in my first mile, I ran it in what I believe was my fastest time so far in my 3 weeks of running, 12:09.  My second mile was not as good as I run/walked for some of it, and came in at 14:03.  Yikes.

Tomorrow is a 5 mile run, the first half being uphill, so here's hoping to make it back in under 75 minutes.  Or maybe I push to 70. :-)

Now -- nutrition.  It could have been better.  I had a girls' night on Saturday and had chocolate cake and ice cream for dessert, and 1 glass of bubbly.  The meal itself wasn't so bad, probably one of the healthier options on the menu.  And on Sunday there was the Superbowl -- I ate turkey chili for the main dish (not bad) but then I splurged on candies and chips.  I probably consumed 600 calories in candies and chips.  And on Monday I had a sandwich for lunch and a sandwich for dinner.  So, not the best week for me.

That said, I weighed myself in on Thursday and found that I had lost 0.7lb overall weight, and digging into that: I'm down 1.5lb more in body fat (and 0.7% BFI), and up 0.9lb in muscle mass since last week.  So -- that's good! Though my trainer says that's probably because I'm running (going from nothing to a lot) and probably not so much due to the nutrition.  So I still have a ways to go.  My snacks, though, have all been healthy outside of the Superbowl -- fruits and veggies!  I just need to commit more.

Weekend update + observations

Alright, first let me share the running I've done through the week

• We did a 4 mile run on Saturday.  Unfortunately my app stopped recording my running at some point, so I was only able to record one true mile for time, which was mile 2-3 at a pace of 12:29.  I was proud of that, and also proud I was able to run that mile without stopping.  That's about my lung capacity right now without having to change to a run/walk.  I'd like to up that in the future.  While the app didn't work, I do know that I also ran the full first mile (and then a little), and the run/walks for miles 1-2 and 3-4 were more runs than walks.  So I can confidently say I did significantly more running than walking during the 4 mile run on Saturday.
• I decided to do a 2-mile run on Sunday around my neighborhood.  Things didn't go as well.  I was able to run without stopping for the first mile, which I clocked at just over 13 minutes.  The second mile, however, was rougher.  I clocked in just under 15 minutes which, from my recollection, was slightly slower when I did the 300-foot ascent on a 1-mile run the Wednesday before.  So, I wasn't too proud of that performance.  That said, I am proud that I ran on my own AND I was able to maintain my run for the first full mile.

Now, how did I eat?  I knew the weekend would be tough because I had a girls' night on Saturday and the Superbowl on Sunday.  I did ... OK.  Definitely was not clean, but also could have been worse.  During the girls' night, I had minimal appetizers, 1 glass of bubbly, a chicken risotto main dish, and then chocolate cake and ice cream for dessert.  For the Superbowl, the main dish was turkey chili, which wasn't so bad ... but I started to splurge on popcorn, chips, and cookies.  But then I was back on the horse on Monday.  Today (Tuesday) wasn't so good from a meal standpoint - 2 sandwiches over lunch/dinner - but I still eat clean breakfasts and snacks.  Hoping to get back to clean meals on Wednesday before the next running group.  My next weigh-in is on Thursday.  Here's hoping I continue to make progress!  Right now I feel questionable based on the choices I made over the weekend.

And now, a couple observations:

• It was really something to run on Saturday morning.  My running group must have been traveling a similar running route as another running group a couple blocks from our gym; we started about 30 minutes before them.  What was cool was, on my way back to the gym, I crossed paths with everyone in the other running group (which had to have been close to 100 people, no joke, they are LARGE).  And as we passed by each other, we would wave, say "good morning," or do something nice that acknowledged each other as a member of the running community.  It was nice to be a part of that.
• On Monday, I had personal training.  Now, I know that I've only been eating well for about 1.5 weeks, but I think the combination of that AND surprising myself with what I am capable of doing in the running group, made me feel fearless.  I felt like my performance was better than usual - some combination of physical and mental capability, I'm sure.  And even though I have over 30lb to lose, that evening, I felt like I was so in shape ... so I can only imagine what I'll feel like (and be capable of doing) when those pounds come off.  Gotta keep at it.

An uphill climb (literally and figuratively)

Yesterday was my first attempt at an uphill climb.  We had a 2.25-mile round-trip route -- up a steep hill for the first half, and down and back for the second half.  It was about a 300ft increase in altitude (and it felt like all at once).  I ran as much as I felt I could, which was only a bit over 0.4 miles, before I started the run/walk up the remainder of the hill.  And I watched as my running group got farther and farther away from me.  Once I reached the top of the hill, I was alone.  I was in a park, it was dark, it was not well lit ... not a huge fan of how I felt at that moment.  Wished I had someone running alongside me for the hill climb, but alas, I felt like I was doing it alone.  Eventually I started the descent which was a bit easier, but not super easy (it's a different kind of pain in your legs!) as I was only able to shave a little under a minute off of my mile time (yesterday I did the first mile in 15:41, and the second mile in 14:53).  It was slow, yes, but it was also my first time attempting a hill climb (and then descent).  It's a baseline.  The great part was, when I was finishing up the run, the rest of the running group was outside the gym waiting for me to finish and they cheered me on as I ran towards them.  That was nice to come back to that.

Today I wanted to weigh myself at the gym as it was a week since my first weigh-in since running.  I knew that I was also eating better - I have been logging all my meals and snacks in the Weight Watchers tool - so I was hoping to see at least 1.5-2lb off.  What I did see was only a 0.7lb decrease in overall weight.  However, that is just one number that doesn't really paint the right picture.  When we did the body assessment, what I learned is I actually LOST 1.5lb of body fat (and was down 0.7% BFI) and GAINED 0.4lb of skeletal muscle mass!  This is exactly what I want to see continue.  Now, I know being at 196lb is still over 30lb heavier than I want to be, but I am definitely going about this in the right way.  Lose the fat, gain the muscle.

I've definitely made an effort this week to reel in my eating.  I've only been drinking water, my snacks are now fruits and vegetables instead of what I can get from the vending machine, and my lunches have been chicken caesar wraps or salads.  I still do Blue Apron meals for dinner and those servings are quite large (between 600-800 calories per serving), so I may need to rethink portion sizes or add more vegetables.  But -- I was proud of myself for the week.  I am also realizing how incredibly hard it is to say no to things like chocolate, bread, and cheese.  I still have those more ad-hoc, but the craving is there, and it's real.  The nutrition part is really tough for me.

I had personal training tonight, and I actually felt amazing doing it.  It's a moment that I hope I remember -- that the combination of doing my best in running (and surprising myself) coupled with better nutrition is truly helping my performance, and makes me feel fearless.  I hope this is the motivation I need to keep it up!  But yes, this whole journey is an uphill climb.

A day of ups and downs

Running in the cold on Saturday made me feel fearless.  And so, on Sunday, as the snow was falling (but not sticking), I decided to go for a quick 1-mile run around my neighborhood.  And it was a good experience and a bad experience.  The good experience was I noticed that I was able to run farther without stopping this past Sunday than when I did the same run one week prior.  So, yay me!  The bad experience was, overall, I think the run was slower.  I completed the mile in 16 minutes and 25 seconds.  Towards the second half of the mile, my right shin started to hurt and I had to walk more to help ease the pain.  It’s not the first time I’ve had pain there, and this is something I’ll have to work through as I continue to run.  I probably need to stretch more than I do as well.  So – ups and downs while running.

I also had been texting with a friend of mine who also wants to lose weight.  We made a pact that we would hold each other accountable until we both lose 15 pounds individually.  We would do so by using the Weight Watchers Online program (only $10/month with our company discount) – and reassess after we lose 15lb apiece.  So I went ahead yesterday and signed up … I have 30 points per day and 42 flex points per week.  And yesterday I already went over my daily quota with a 39-point day.  Not a great way to begin.  But what it did show me is, truly, how I fuel my body.  I did not think my eating on Sunday was a particularly bad day.  But I went over quota.  And if thought that Sunday was a typical good day for me, I can only imagine what “normal” days would be, points-wise.  This is going to be very hard, but at least I have a friend doing it with me.

Feeling accomplished ... so let me celebrate!

Today was my running group's second Saturday morning meet.  Our leader planned a 4-mile run for us.  And I was nervous.  It would be the longest run I've ever attempted, and I'd be doing it in 20 degree weather (something I was very nervous about as I was concerned my clothing would not suffice).  I was hoping that I could complete the run in under an hour but even that was ambitious because I know I was going to stop running at some point and the rest becomes a run/walk.  Here's what actually happened:

I ran 4 miles in 55:15!  5 minutes under my goal.  I was so proud of myself!  There were a few things that I observed along the run that I believe allowed me to make my time limit: (1) there was someone in the running group who was running at a comparable speed to me, so I always had her in front of me and pushed myself to maintain a pace close to hers.  I think if she hadn't been in front of me and I was running alone, I likely would have stopped to walk earlier than I did.  I probably ran for ~15 or so minutes straight before taking a break.  This is something I had NEVER done before. (2) Somewhere around the 3 mile mark, I got this sudden wind that I was unstoppable.  I'm sure running down an incline may have helped that, but at that moment I started to smile as I ran -- I truly felt happy and fearless. (3) As I approached mile 4, something inside me said, "you can definitely run/walk a half marathon."  So I'm going to keep going and hope that voice doesn't get stifled.

Now -- all that aside, I do need to be more careful with my eating.  A whole lot more careful than I am today.  This evening I am headed to a girls' night, so I plan to eat pizza, drink wine, and eat desserts.  Fine -- that was planned all along.  My issue is that I don't have the willpower to hop back on the healthy eating track.  Often times, my selfishness (and wanting to celebrate lots of moments with friends) makes me eat whatever I want, because I don't want to NOT enjoy what should be a fun moment.  And I have a lot of fun moments!  This is the mindset I have to change.  And, truly, the purpose of the blog.  I think I'm starting to see how running can have a positive effect on my health (mental and physical), and now I just need to find a way to eat better in a way that is sustaintable for me.  This is the challenge.

Scared on a Saturday morning

It's about 6:40am on Saturday and my anxiety has again gotten the better of me.  I went to bed at 10:30 so as to get 8 hours of sleep and was doing just fine until the 3-4am hour when I was up and could not get back to sleep.  So of course I start freaking out: will this affect my run?  Am I going to get sick?  And the general: am I going to freeze my ass off out there today?  I was able to fall back asleep, but then started waking up every 20 or so minutes from 5am onward to about 6am...finally getting out of bed at 6:15am.  Hoping the 4 mile run in cold weather (27 but feels like 17!!!) today won't be so bad.  I'm sure once it's over I'll feel spectacular.  I just have to get there...I did down 2 pieces of toast with peanut butter (my trainer's recommendation) and some water, so I am fueled up.  Let's do this.

A Tale of Two Numbers

Hi!  My name is Alissa, and I am an anti-runner.  I've never wanted to run, nor have I ever been good at it.  I even remember doing those "President's Challenges" in high school -- you know, the ones where you have to do X number of push ups, Y number of crunches, etc. to show that you're fit for your age group -- and I could not run a mile in whatever time limit there was.  So yeah, very very anti-running.  And this continued as I grew up and started adulting.  I did find ways to work out (like Crossfit for about 6 months, and personal training, which I still do today) but the cardio never happened.  But you know what DID happen?  Anything with cheese, bread, wine, pasta, sauce, chocolate ... you get the idea.  Fast forward to today and I am at my heaviest weight and a good 35lb heavier than what I would consider healthy.

Which brings me to the first "tale of two numbers:" my current BFI: 34.4%.  Yikes.

The last time I got serious about losing weight was last summer.  And so I went cold-turkey and stopped eating any bad food.  I ate nearly 100% clean for 6 weeks and lost 16lb.  I felt amazing.  And then I went on a mini-vacation and started to eat badly again ... and eventually I regained all my weight that I had lost, and then some.  And while I've been wanting to lose the weight again since then, mentally I didn't want to change the way I was eating.  I was enjoying everything and didn't want to give anything up!  And so now, as a last-ditch effort, I am going to try to do the one thing I never thought I'd do: join a running group in the hopes that my running performance will force me to start eating better so I don't have a crappy run every time.  I'm not going for distance, or for time -- I'm going for weight loss, but even more so: a sustainable BFI.

Thankfully, my personal training gym was about to start their second running group to train for a half-marathon in May.  So, much to my chagrin, I told my trainer I'd do it.  And I wasn't happy about it because it had all the elements I hated: running, waking up on Saturdays for a 7:30am long run, being outside in cold weather ... but I'm still hoping that things will pay off if I stick to it.

Which brings me to the second "tale of two numbers:" 7:05.81.  This past Wednesday night, our leader made us do half-mile repeats.  We did this 4 times over an hour.  The idea was to run a faster half-mile every time we repeated.  I laughed.  This is impossible.  Could I even run a half mile without stopping?  And I will say, as I ran the first half-mile and finished a good 2-3 minutes behind the rest of the group, I was feeling deflated.

But I kept at it.  Even running alone (since I was the slowest one), I continued to push myself to see what I was capable of doing.  And I surprised myself.

My first run (which was a full jog) was 7:30.64.  Each run since then was progressively better, and I wound up shaving 25 seconds off my time (even with a small break to walk and catch my breath up a small hill).  I was astounded.  Maybe I could do this after all.  At the end of the day, my biggest competitor truly is myself.  And I want to win!!!

So -- this is my starting point.  BFI of 34.4%, half-mile run of 7:05.81.  I'm curious to see what I'm capable of doing over the next 15 weeks.  But I know it's all going to come down to how I fuel my body.  I won't be perfect (in fact, after our long run tomorrow, I'm going to a girls' night and intend to eat pizza and drink wine), but I know the more I watch what I eat, the more weight I lose.  And the more weight I lose, the easier it will be to move my body.

I sure do hope this works.